Review: THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE * 1/2

The tagline on the poster for THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE gives the cheeky suggestion to "See it With Someone You Fuck".

If I may offer my one word rebuttal: "Don't".

THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE stars Sasha Grey as Chelsea, a high class escort in New York City. She lives in an expensive apartment, wears expensive clothes, eats at expensive restaurants, and rides around in expensive cars. Such is the life for a girl who seems to be one of the very best prostitutes Manhattan has to offer.

Through a broken narrative, we learn about her relationship with Chris, her live-in boyfriend. Chris is a personal trainer trying to get ahead in an economy that is teetering on bringing him down (along with the entire white collar class). He has an understanding relationship with Chelsea, possibly because he's too self-involved to actually care.

We watch, usually at arm's reach, while Chelsea meets with clients. We watch Chelsea try to up her online profile. We even watch Chelsea struggle with actually caring about one of her Johns. If you like to watch, this might be the movie for you. If you like to be entertained however, you're in for a disappointment.

You know that something has gone terribly wrong somewhere, when a seventy five minute movie feels long. This is helped in no small part by the fact that much of those seventy five minutes are spent watching rich people complain. They talk about the lousy economy, their dwindeling sales, their shrinking income, their increasing competition, their lack of professional growth...notice a trend yet?

Making it all the more sickening, is the fact that they voice these complaints in gourmet restaurants, private jets, and sprawling living spaces. Rather than soaking up what's left of the good life, they seem hellbent on complaining to the captain that their champagne is flat while they watch the ship continue to sink.

Likewise, I am puzzled by the fact that a movie has been made about an escort starring a porn actress, and is about as sexy as a tax audit. Not to say that the film had to be explicit to be sexy, nor to say that a film with sex in the subtext must titilate. I just had a hard time with the fact that all these men who pay this woman hundreds and hundreds of dollars, seem more interested in using her as their shrink than their whore.

Through it all, perhaps even because of it all, Sasha Grey gives us nothing. She looks bored, has no inflection to her voice, and seldom says anything that has any weight. This is a woman just one month removed from a Rolling Stone profile that painted her as someone of intelligence. Not just another come-hither porn star, but a woman who is opinionated and reads philosophy for fun. If the article was true, I'd never know it from the performance she gave in this movie. I'll spot points for the gamble of casting Grey, but if there was ever any debate why erotic talent can't make the jump to being serious actors, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE ought to end it. Fast.

Steven Soderbergh is one of my favorite directors, but his work is impossible to appreciate as a whole. Since his jump to the mainstream around the turn of the century, he has followed a rough pattern of doing one mainstream movie, followed by one indie. His smaller films always challenge. Sometimes they succeed (BUBBLE)...other times, not so much (FULL FRONTAL). While I will say that THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE is visually elegant, it's not nearly elegant enough to make me reccomend the film.

Perhaps the whole darned thing was doomed when the title was chosen (Though admittedly, it refers to what Chelsea wants, more than what she offers). Whether a guy is rich or poor, girlfriends are a wonderful thing. They complete men, help them grow, challenge them, and entice. They are not - or certainly shouldn't be - constant sounding boards to bitch about your day. Perhaps that's why the poster suggested that audiences see this movie with someone they fuck. Once the films over, you can lean over, give that special someone a kiss, and say "See...at least I'm not as bad as THOSE people!".

Or perhaps not. Skip it to be safe.

Review: AWAY WE GO * * * 1/2

Strangest thing. Every few years, a movie will come along that speaks to me a little bit louder than most. It's usually due in part to the way I can relate to the characters, and where they are at in their lifes journey. Thinking back, it's been about five years since such a film hit me in this manner, and a lot has changed in that time. So I suppose in a way, I was due for a new film to speak to me.

Right on cue comes AWAY WE GO.

AWAY WE GO is the story of Burt and Verona. They have a simple yet deeply loving relationship. She is an illustrator and he is an insurance salesman. They aren't married, but it isn't for lack of asking (Burt wants to, Verona not so much). They are expecting their first child in three months, so they live near Denver solely to be close to Burt's parents when the baby is born (Verona's parents passed away years ago).

However, for some strange reason, Burt's flighty parents are moving out of the country for two years. Now teathered by nothing, they start to think long and hard about where they want to raise their child. They have very few friends, and even less family, so anywhere from Phoenix to Montreal is up for grabs. They head out on a journey to settle on a new home.

What gives this road trip even more meaning for the lovebirds, is the fact that at every stop they meet up with another old acquaintence...each one with a radically different family dynamic in tow. There's a wickedly disfunctional brood in Phoenix. There's a crackpot neo-hippie dynamic in Wisconsin. Going further north, is the loving adopting couple in Montreal - who are hiding a sad consequence. And finally, there's a newly single dad in Miami...who is struggling to hold it together after his wife ran away from her husband and daughter.

For better or worse, each stop gives Burt and Verona an answer to their questions on how to be good parents. Of course, each answer comes with a dozen new - and often scarier - questions.

AWAY WE GO is fueled by two very heartfelt and genuine performances by John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph. Krasinski has become notorious for reacting to what's happening around him with a "wtf" expression. However, for the role of Burt, he has raised his game, and with his entire body encompassed the frightened enthusiasm of a first-time-father. In his words, he wants his child to have an adolescense that is "Huck Finn-y". If anyone else such a thing, I'd laugh at them...but when Burt says it, I believe him.

What makes the character, and likewise Krasinski's performance all the more interesting, is the fact that the guy isn't built out of blind Casey Kasem optimism. He'll politely stand back, and let old acquaintences act like babbling idiots - but only to a point. When the insanity does eventually become too much to handle, he isn't above pointing it out...and he does it in a way that feels believable. Mostly.

As for Maya Rudolph's portrayal of Verona, she gives the character a great deal of sweet uncertainty, and does so without leaning on any "wild pregnancy mood-swing" cliches. That's not to say that she doesn't get agitated or self-concious - she does, often in reaction to Burt's overzealousness. What grounds Veronas anxieties, is the way she explains them in ways that make them familiar.

These two characters face some tough moments together - enough to shatter many lesser couples. But what sees them through it, and what what might eventually let them find what they are looking for, is their honesty with each other. They both feel like kids that fucked up, but by not letting their shortcomings tear them apart as a family, they are able to keep moving down the road, where many lesser couples might have gone their seperate ways.

AWAY WE GO poses some tough questions. Not the least of which, is whether or not this generation has been selfish by contentedly coupling off and prolonging the start of families. I for one, am not working out every topic that comes up in the movie at the moment, but I'm thinking about enough of them that a movie like this becomes a compass. Everyone has a different answer for what this stage of life is supposed to be about. AWAY WE GO might have helped me formulate mine, and it might just be a good enough answer to last me another five years.

Review TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN * 1/2

Sometimes, expressing whether a film is good or bad is pretty simple. Two days ago, I was talking with a co-worker about TRANSFORMERS REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. He'd seen it, I hadn't. I made mention of the fact that it was getting critically drubbed, but he steered the conversation very easily.

"Did you like the first one Hatter?" *Hatter nods* "Then, you'll like this one."

If only...

We begin with a history lesson. It seems that thousands of years ago, Transformers roamed the earth. One of them tried to betray the others, wipe out humanity and rule the robot race. He was beaten by an act of sacrifice, and banished to deep space. Fast forward to two years after the events of the first movie. The Autobots have been rolled into a highly covert military unit, and are scouring the earth trying to destroy what Decepticons remain.

It's at this point that we catch up with young Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) and Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox). Sam's headed off to college, so he and Megan are working on what many dating couples headed to school wrestle with - to long distance, or not to long distance. But before any of this pretty people canoodling can continue, Sam finds a sliver of the All Spark tucked in his sweatshirt. The All Spark, you may recall, was a source of great power that caused most of the robot fighting in the first film.

The discovery of this sliver sets two things in motion: It seems to wake up a whole lot of Decepticons and send them Sam's way, and it also causes Sam to start scribbling hieroglyphics on blackboards, patches of dirt, tables, walls, and whatever flat surface he can find. After calling Mikaela to come help him, and darn near getting killed by a Decepticon who can transform into a Girls Gone Wild wannabe, The Autobots find their way to Sam and try to protect whatever ancient secret it is that's been stuck in his head.

What is the secret? Why do The Decepticons want it? Why do The Autobots fight so hard to protect it? Why does Optimus Prime sacrifice himself to keep it safe just a little while longer? These are all good questions in the opening hour. But the final ninety minutes bring another, much bigger question - when you can blow things up really good - what do any of these questions matter?

REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is two and a half hours of pyrotechnic fetishism, wrapped around a mind-numbing amount of special effects, sprinkled with pretty people. It is an alright two hour movie that has been stretched into a silly two and a half hour movie.

For my money, two big things proved to be the movie's undoing. The first is the death of Optimus Prime. Pardon me while I geek out for a moment, but thinking back to the cartoons I grew up with, Optimus was killed off at one point. When this happened, the Autobots had to follow a new leader which made for a few interesting new facets to their story. So, when Optimus fell early in this movie, I was intrigued...guessing that maybe, just maybe, an interesting story was about to unfold.

No such luck. By focusing the rest of the plot on trying to resurrect Optimus, they give the whole story a sense of desperation. The plot seems to take its sweet time at this point, wandering around without direction. But thinking back that makes sense - the good guys don't really have direction, because their leader is gone. Had they anointed a new leader like that cartoon I saw oh-so long ago, the rest of the story might have had some better direction.

The plan to resurrect Optimus brings me to problem number two: a monumentally boring and painfully drawn out final showdown in Egypt. I am hard pressed to remember a less excited, less predictable, yet seemingly endless firefight in any movie I've ever seen. For what feels like half an hour the formula is "Robots fight-humans dies-things go boom-Megan & Shia run. Repeat". The scene has no tension, jams three fight sequences into one and makes none of them any fun.

Cementing the scene as pure stupidity and ultimately the movie's final undoing, is a moment where a main character appears to have been killed...and on their way to the great hereafter, they meet ancient Autobots who send the character back to the world of the living equipped with the key to win the fight. Are you kidding me!? It's as if the writers of this movie studied the last Indiana Jones movie in preparing to write the end of this story, but wondered how they could make the idea sillier.

I've outgrown them to a degree, but mindless action films do have a place in the cinematic world. Once in a while, they help us to escape for an hour or two and feel like kids again by watching things go fast, things go boom, and seeing the good guys win. However, there is a world of difference between mindless (TRANSFORMERS 1) and stupid (TRANSFORMERS 2), and the difference is this - I'm paying you to entertain me, not to insult me while doing so.

So sorry dear co-worker, I had a great 'ol time at the first one, but this movie did precious little for me.

Talking in The Dark

Today I feel like this...

Summer Lovin' (Free Movies at Harbourfront)

Crappy movies abound...the roof is open at Rogers Centre...patios around work are buzzin' after five...

Must be summer!

One of my favorite things about summer in Toronto, is going to see free screenings that take place here and there. Tops on the list is the Sirius Stage at Harbourfront.

And buckle up fellow members of the MTV Generation - this year we're in for a wealth of 80's titles. Hhere are the titles they've chosen...

PRETTY IN PINK - July 8th, 8pm
BREAKIN' - July 15th, 9pm
DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN - July 22nd, 9pm
STOP MAKING SENSE - July 29th, 9pm
SAY ANYTHING - August 5th, 9pm
LABRYNTH - August 12th, 9pm

So if you're looking for a free show in the city, or want to see one of your favorites on the big screen one more time, check out this fun series at one of the best spots to catch a flick in Toronto.

Ten (Oscar Widens the Best Picture Field)

Um...wow.

Just when I thought I'd read everything there was to read on the internet during this dreadfully hot and boring workday, I came across news that effective immediately, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have widened the Best Picture category. To wit - they've doubled it*.

That's right gang - the 2009 Best Picture category will be a class of ten!

This brings to mind a few different reactions...

I believe this choice to be year late easily. I'm one of those who believed that mainstream films like MAN ON WIRE, WALL-E, and THE DARK KNIGHT got shafted last year. Indeed, they might not have been top five material, but both could have easily landed in the top ten.

With that in mind, will this broaden the scope of what is a "Best Picture Nominee"? Or will it just water down the field with more cookie-cutter dramas? Will we begin to see animated films, documentaries, foreign films, and even the odd genre flick or two in the mix?? What about comedies??? Musicals even????

Or are we doomed to have the category dominated by even more forgettable weepiness? (I'm looking at you GREEN MILE).

Thoughts?

*It should be noted, that Oscar is actually going back to ten nominees. In the 40's, the category was trimmed to five

Soul to Squeeze (COLD SOULS and ZOMBIELAND Trailers)

I had so much fun posting two trailers last week that I thought I'd give it another go.

First we have COLD SOULS, which looks like it wants to give BEING JOHN MALKOVICH a run in the oddity department. I mean that in a good way of course. I'm almost always there when I see that Paul Giamatti has a new movie coming out so count me in for this one.



After that is ZOMBIELAND which looks like some rip-roarin' B-movie fun, and proof that Hollywood's fetish for zombie flicks ain't over yet. If classic Van Halen in the trailer isn't a sure-fire sign of fun times, then I don't know what is.

Decade pt. iv ( Top Five 00's Movies - 2003 )

The fourth year of this new millennium was a tad on the lousy side, primarily because it was a year dominated by sequels. 2003 brought us the second CHARLIE'S ANGELS, BAD BOYS. It also bequeathed us a third TERMINATOR, AMERICAN PIE, and FINAL DESTINATION.

Not enough franchise goodness for you? Likewise remember that this was the year that gave us a second and third MATRIX!

Thankfully, movie makers did take a moment or two away from their rehashes to provide filmgoers with some memorable cinema...barely.

It was the year that bookworms started buzzing about some strange code associated with DaVinci. It was the year a SARS panic rocked my hometown. And it was the summer that a blackout knocked out all the lights on the eastern seaboard one August night. After the jump, please find...

Hatter's Top Five Films of 2003

#5. KILL BILL... There are some who would call my inclusion of Tarantino's ultra-violent opus on this film complete heresy. I'm well aware that the man stole three quarters of the ideas in this film from dozens of B films he'd watched...but he's brought all those films so beautifully creating one badass symphony of cool. The visual style, the crackling soundtrack, and the signature dialogue - it all came together beautifully to form this first chapter of The Bride's revenge. Now if only someone would get to work putting volume 1 and 2 together into one suped up dvd package, I'd be a happy hatter.

#4. THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE... This was the year that an animated movie about fish blew everybody away. However, for me, this was the best animated film of the year. In an age where celebrities voice most animated characters, here comes a film with about a dozen lines of spoken dialogue. Even without words, the characters in this film express their love for the simple things in life - making music, riding bicycles, and barking at cars. Adding a cherry to this cinematic sundae, is an infectious theme song that you are guaranteed to be humming for days. Of course, in true unjust Hollywood form it was denied an Oscar for Best Song...to "Into the West"...from LORD OF THE RINGS.

#3. LOST IN TRANSLATION... Really and truly, this entire movie's brilliance rests with Bill Murray. For the one time Peter Venkman, this was the performance of a lifetime, quite often saying volumes without even opening his mouth. Of course, when he did open his mouth, he got me laughing heartily on more than one occasion (Namely "You want mystery. OK, I'll just wonder where the hell the whiskey went."). While I've never been fully sold on how much control writer/director Sofia Coppola had over this film, I'll give her props for that absolutely amazing ending. One of the best unsolved mysteries in film history.

#2. A MIGHTY WIND... This flick could have made my five solely for the line "I suffered a lot of abuse as a child...mostly musical in nature." Admittedly, I was late to the party when it comes to Christopher Guest. This was the first of his mockumentaries I saw in a theatre, and for my money it's the best one. Unleashing his band of merrymakers on the sometimes absurd world of folk music, he created a movie equal parts snarky, surreal, and sweet. Perhaps the best example of this was Catherine O'Hara and Eugene Levy as Mitch & Mickey, whose tender song "Kiss at The End Of The Rainbow" provided for a moment of real enchantment amidst all the lunacy. Of course, in true unjust Hollywood form it was denied an Oscar for Best Song...to "Into the West"...from LORD OF THE RINGS.

#1. MYSTIC RIVER... I get a lot of arguments about this movie, but I don't care...it's become one of my all time favorites. It's a grown-up movie about grown-up horrors. Surprisingly beautiful in its photography, and something of an acting clinic with its all-star performances, Clint Eastwood's big directing comeback is one that I believe will stand the test of time.While there are many occasions in the film that a more cliched film would have its characters yelling, few characters in this movie raise their voice at all...making it all the more haunting.

Others on my shortlist for 2003 include WHALE RIDER, MASTER AND COMMANDER, ELF, 21 GRAMS, FINDING NEMO, AMERICAN SPLENDOR, LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING and BIG FISH. Check in on July 28th for the next installment, my top five films of 2004.

Did I miss one? Feel free to leave comments with your own favorite movies from 2003, along with suggestions for the next top five.

There's a World (Images from Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND)

I count myself as a big fan of Tim Burton's work, so when I heard he was adapting Alice in Wonderland into a feature film I was pretty darned excited. It might be me, but it just seems like one of those projects he was destined to do.

And as time has gone on I've only become more excited with the casting announcements (Christopher Lee is The Jabberwocky!...Alan Rickman is The Caterpillar!!...Johnny Depp is the Mad Hatter!!!). Now of course, March cannot come fast enough for me.

Well today I got all a-tither again as a big 'ol wad of official images have hit the net, including the series you see above. That's be Depp's Mad Hatter on the left, Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts in the middle, and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen on the right. Gorgeous photos all, n'est pas??

Aagain, to me, this looks awesome. Check out more photos here.

Review: THE HANGOVER * * * 1/2

Find any group of four or five guys in their twenties. Five to one odds says that they act like they are living an unfilmed episode of Entourage. The truth is, when guys get together, stupidity usually ensues. When guys get together with drinks and drugs in tow, the stupidity is assured. When the guys get together with drinks and drugs in tow in Vegas...the stupidity goes pro.

One thing I love about movies like this is that I don't have to waste too many words summarizing the plot. THE HANGOVER is about a groom-to-be Doug and his three groomsmen Alan, Phil, and Stu (Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms). Together they go to Las Vegas and have the sort of wild night that one only seems to be able to have in Vegas. The next morning the three groomsmen wake up. There's a tiger in the bathroom, a baby in the closet, Phil's wearing a hospital bracelet, and Stu is missing a tooth.

Oh yeah, and Doug is gone.

In something of a "Nancy Drew Meets the Frat Boys" style, the guys try to fight through the worst hangover of their lives, and piece the wild night back together in the hopes of getting Doug to the church on time.

THE HANGOVER is not what I'd call deeply original, but yet it feels like the freshest loaf on the funny shelf. What made the story for me, is the way we never really see for ourselves the hi jinks that the boys got themselves into. Instead we laugh as they piece it all back together and hear second-hand accounts of the dumbassery they unleashed. What makes such a device work so well, is the fact we all tend to learn about many moments of our own drunken stupidity in this very way.

Another thing that helped me feel like I was watching something new, was the fact that the dominant faces of comedy were nowhere to be seen in this movie. THE HANGOVER provides a lot of laughs in a lot of scenes, and none of them are the work of Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughan, Owen/Luke Wilson, John C. Reiley, Seth Roegen, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, or Jason Segal. No offense to any of those guys, some of whom still make me laugh, but it feels at least one or more of them has been in every comedy for the last decade. Hollywood, take a note - it's time for fresh blood!

Of the three leads, it was Zach Galifianakis that made me laugh most often. He plays awkward amazingly well, often dotting the conversation with lines that feel wickedly awkward...or wickedly inappropriate...or both. While he plays Alan as a simpleton, he does it in a way that doesn't feel insulting. Maybe it's the way he manages to spontaneously start singing a tune.

On a lot of days, guys are a rather primitive bunch. But the thing about hanging with the guys is that if they really are your friends, they'll turn a blind eye. Not in that "what happens in Vegas" way, more on a lower everyday level. They'll let you wear your man-purse and berate you for it endlessly. They'll let you date the wrong girl - defend her even - and still have your back.

Still, when trying to dig yourself out of a deep hole ofstupidity, it's good to know that you have a guy or two willing to shovel right beside you.

My Father's Eyes

Today, I feel like this...

Daddy Sang Bass (My Dad's Top Five Movies)

That determined young lad on the right is me, and the big guy on the right is my dad, Ken. This has always been one of my favorite photographs of the two of us, and it was actually printed in a local newspaper back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper...well, waist high to my dad at least.

My dad is a fun case when it comes to his taste in movies. He likes some really good ones, but isn't above watching something silly like ROOKIE OF THE YEAR just because it happens to be on TV.

My dad has told me a lot of stories about movies he's gone to see growing up. Like the time he'd go to all night marathons with his buddies and throw candy at the screen during a love scene. Or the time he and my mom saw A CLOCKWORK ORANGE on a date and my mom completely hated it. The guy might not be quite the movie geek that his kids have turned into, but it's certainly fair to say that the apples haven't fallen far from the tree.

Thus, today is my Dad's turn. A few weeks ago at Sunday dinner I asked my Dad to rhyme off some of his favorite films, and these were the five that stuck out for me. Do take a look after the jump to see...

My Dad's Top Five Movies

AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)... Note: My dad didn't rank 'em, so they'll appear in order that best suits what I want to say about the big guy.

This one was a gimme, since I've long known that it's far and away dad's favorite. It's actually fitting, since three of the key points of the movie - rock & roll, mischief, and cars - could easily sum up a lot of what my dad is about. This movie had to be at the top of the list for one simple reason; my dad's favorite scene. Early on in the movie is a moment when Ron Howard couples a chain to the rear axle of a police cruiser. The resulting bit of automotive slapstick makes my dad howl with laughter every time - you'd actually swear it was the first time he was seeing the gag. Such enthusiasm is underrated.

THE DIRTY DOZEN (1967)... My dad has a thing for war movies, which you'll notice as this list goes on. Once again, the humour in it appeals to him ("Where you from son?" "Madison City Missouri, sir!" "Never heard of it."), but I have a hunch the theme of teamwork speaks to him too. Dad's always been the sort to take pride in his work and go the extra mile to earn his keep. Oh, and he's not above cheating to win a game of Capture the Flag either.

ROMAN HOLIDAY (1953)... 'One of these things is not like the others / One of these things just doesn't belong'...At first when dad mentioned this love story in amongst a bunch of comedies and action flicks, I was surprised. However, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. See on the outside, dad looks like your usual beer-drinkin', steak eatin', hockey watchin' guy - but inside he's a big softie. Thus, his inner romantic probably can't resist this classic. I could tease the guy for choosing a love story, but his romantic gestures to my mom actually taught me well. So let's move on.

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (1998)... Hearing my dad mention this one actually brought a big smile to my face, because it's actually on my own top five! I guess it's apropos that we went to see it on the big screen together, something that I truly enjoy doing but don't do often enough. What I'm trying to say is that I'm really close with my dad, but something inside my movie geek heart felt that much closer knowing that we had a favorite movie in common. There was only one movie my dad mentioned that was more fitting than this...


THE GREAT ESCAPE (1963)... Seems like a pretty straight forward "dad movie" right? So why all the fuss that my dad mentioned it as one of his all time faves? For the truly cool fact that my mom also mentioned it in her top five. My folks have been together for thirty four years, and with cinematic harmony like that, is it any wonder?? Both of them did an awesome job raising me, and I have to believe it's because they were truly meant to be together in ways that are more and more rare these days. Having a favorite movie in common may seem like a minor detail to some, but to a movie geek like me it speaks volumes. I'm getting married in just under four months, and I can only hope to be as good as husband as my dad has been to my mom. Thanks dad - you've taught me a lot!

Once again, I'm curious - Please ask your dads about the movies they love, and leave comments with your dad's top five movies, along with suggestions for the next top five.

White Rabbit

While I'm a huge fan of classic film, I will admit that time is not always kind to the movies of yesteryear. What was once groundbreaking is now commonplace, what was once errie is now hokey, what was once witty is now cliche.

Then again, every now and then I watch a classic film and it completely knocks me on my ass. Such was the case a few nights back when I finally watched HARVEY.

I'm not going to turn this into a full-on review, I just mean to say that almost sixty years after its premiere, the movie is still wonderfully clever with some of the best writing you'll find in any movie from any era. As it was, I wasn't feeling so hot when I started watching it, but it could have raised my spirits based solely on the following bit of dialogue...

Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.

( Thanks B - I owe ya one! )

Walking With a Ghost (SHUTTER ISLAND Trailer)

It's been a pretty good week for trailers, thus I decided to post two of 'em today...

For a while in the late nineties, director Martin Scorese seemed unconcerned with trying to win his long overdue Oscar. As such, he seemed more relaxed, and his projects less a deliberate attempt at being a For Your Consideration picture.

Well now that Marty has finally won, perhaps he'll go back to just 'making movies'. If this trailer for SHUTTER ISLAND is any indication, that just might be what he's started doing.

Doesn't look like it'll contend for any little gold men...but gosh it looks like a fun flick!

Stage Fright (FAME Trailer)

I must admit, I'm curious about this one.

I'm a fan of the original...and given that I went to a high school for the arts, this sort of story taps a nerve. I like the fact that they've cast a crop of nobodies as the students, hopefully that will help prevent it from being seen as HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 4.

Review: ANGELS & DEMONS * * 1/2

Just a few days ago, I wrote a post about my rating system, and mentioned how movies I give 2.5 stars to are ones I thought were good...but good in the grand scheme of things. Others might think they are bad, but I can almost always remember movies that were worse.

The latest member to the Hatter Two-and-a-Half Club is ANGELS & DEMONS, the somewhat (?) anticipated sequel to THE DAVINCI CODE. It was an interesting afternoon at the movies for me...since in true 2.5 form I didn't hate it...but I certainly didn't love it either.

ANGELS & DEMONS begins with the death of a Pope, and subsequently The Vatican assembling its Cardinals to elect a new Pope. While this is taking place, a theft has taken place at CERN, a top secret research facility in Switzerland. Someone has murdered a researcher, and stolen a small supply of antimatter - just enough to level Vatican City to a smouldering pile of rubble. The thief did find the courtesy to leave a note: it was taken by The Illuminati, a secret scientific society once persecuted by The Vatican, now hellbent on revenge.

The note was signed with a fancy-schamncy symbol that reads "illuminati" when viewed both right-side-up and upside down. Such a symbol prods The Vatican to reach out to the world's leading sybologist, Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks). He is brought to The Vatican and told that a live feed video of a bomb has been revealed, and four Cardinals have been kidnapped. He meets with a the reluctant head of security Commander Richter (Stellan Skarsgard). He is also introduced to the slightly less reluctant papal gofer, Carmalengo Patrick McKenna (Ewan McGregor).

As Langdon reads the letter sent by Illuminati threatening violence, he sees clues in the wording that no one else has detected. Puzzlingly, as he explains this to McKenna and Richter, neither seem convinced, and neither are in any hurry to aide Langdon's investigation. The only help he seems to be able to count on is from Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer), a CERN researcher who can see that Langdon is on to something, and hopes to help him diffuse the bomb before it's too late.

While I usually try not to compare movies in my reviews, ANGELS & DEMONS must be compared to THE DAVINCI CODE, if only because the exact same creative team was responsible for both films. In many ways, this film is much better than its predecessor. This story feels more focused, more concise. It's almost as if someone took the screenwriter aside and said "Okay...last time we tried to stay too faithful to the book. This time, don't transcribe the story - adapt it."

However, within the framework of the story itself is another puzzling detail. After the first murder in Switzerland, The Vatican is sent a letter by The Illuminati taking responsibility. Not only does the letter take responsibility, it cryptically outlines their entire plan!! I know Illuminati are a secret society and all, but have they never watched a James Bond film??

In DAVINCI CODE, watching Langdon follow the clues laid out by the murdered Grandfather felt natural - he'd want to leave clues for his granddaughter pointing her toward the truth. Langdon following the clues mapped out by Illuminati feels like second rate villainry. Or worse, complete stupidity.

For the most part, the acting in this film is as good as it has to be - though both Armin Mueller-Stahl and Ewan McGregor manage to rise above. As Cardinal Strauss, Stahl plays his part with an uncanny sense of patience and dignity. With his every word, you can tell that even in the face of certain danger, he wants to protect The Vatican's image and traditions. He plays his part so well in fact, that he keeps the audience guessing as to whether or not he in fact might have something to do with this dastardly plot. (Illuminati, take a note - true bad guys don't tell everyone they're bad guys until after they've executed their bad guy plans).

McGregor likewise seems to understand that even though this movie is a thriller, it doesn't mean that he can check his acting skills at the door. He too carries himself with a high degree of dignity, and even goes one further by engaging the debate of science vs. faith. His character is well aware of the atrocities The Vatican has committed in its long history, and while he isn't about to persuade anyone to toss tradition aside, he sympathizes. His role is one of the highlites of the movie...well, until what should be a pivotal scene for him.

Looking at the big picture, all the pieces seem to have been assembled to make for a really good movie. However, it all seems to have been hampered by poor execution. I was almost waiting for someone to point a finger and exclaim something like "To the fountain!!". For me, ANGELS & DEMONS just felt a bit too much like "Scooby Doo and The Vatican Too". The ticking time bomb, the endless series of clues, the omnipresent heavy score...the only thing missing was the Illuminati declaring how they would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.

It's Not Easy Bein' Green

Today, I feel like this...

Doubleback: GHOST TOWN

Funny how a particular talent can take a very pedestrian idea and give it a lot of charm. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please turn your attention to Exhibit A: Ricky Gervais.

GHOST TOWN isn’t the most original film. Paranormal comedies have had a long, and largely fruitless life in cinematic history. So going into yet another one – and one starring Greg Kinnear and Tea Leoni no less – you’d have to pardon my skepticism. But before I could say “Boogedy Boogedy Boo”, my skepticism was set aside as I watched Mr. Gervais steal the show.

Gervais plays Bertram Pincus (talk about a great character name), a very crotchedy dentist who does not like people the slightest bit. During a routine surgery, Pincus dies on the table for seven minutes – but nobody tells him. The result is that he is able to see, hear, and speak with ghosts wandering around New York City who have unfinished business. I must admit that taking a character who doesn’t like living people, and making him deal with dead people too is a rather clever idea. The crux of the story is Pincus being asked by one particular ghost named Frank (Kinnear) to play a hand in the life of Gwen (Leoni), the widow he left behind.

Pincus, and by extension Gervais, is hardly what you’d call charming. So it’s watching his effort to relate to Gwen that gives the movie a very sweet quality. Likewise, the man has amazing timing – and snappy answers that sit squarely in the vector of rude, awkward, and witty. Sometimes it just comes down to a facial expression, or exasperated reaction. The concept of GHOST TOWN isn't in any way original, but turning it over to a particular talent pays off, and ultimately makes the movie a success

Gervais is what makes this paranormal comedy work. He alone seems to make the difference between GHOST TOWN and GHOST DAD.

We Are All Made of Stars

As I was putting the finishing touches on my review for UP, I found myself struggling with my actual rating of the movie. Ratings can sometimes be the bane of my existence, since my own rule is that I can only rate something after the first time I see it. I don't allow myself to go back and bump something up/pull it down.

At the same time, I realized that since I started this blog almost two years ago, I've never really clarified my ratings system. When I first started I tried to be clever and use some sort of Mad Hatter reference for good or bad films (I believe good was to be "A Very Merry Un-Birthday", wheras bad was "Clean cup - move down". But then I thought better of it and switched to the standard star-rating system, mine being on a scale of 1 to four.

If you're curious about my thinking behind each of the ratings, take a look after the jump as I provide some details.

Four Stars Out of Four: "Awesome- See this movie now. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars". These are the movies that really knock me on my ass, and tend to be those I later refer to as the best of the year. I tend not to give this rating all that often (8 times in 2008 by my count), as there's almost always something I think a movie could do better. Movies of this rating have included MILK, THE DARK KNIGHT, and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.

Three and a Half Stars: "Excellent, make a point to see this movie soon". This is a funny classification since many of these movies could round themselves up into a four, or down into a three depending on my mood. Essentially, they are movies that aren't perfect, but come pretty darned close. They are well created dramas, smart action/adventures, or very funny comedies. Movies of this rating have included ATONEMENT, IRON MAN, and STAR TREK.

Three Stars: "Very Good - Check it Out". I haven't done a tally, but I'll bet this is the rating I give most often. Three star movies for me are thoughtful, fun, and engaging. They leave me feeling like the cost of my ticket was money well spent, and are often films I later want to buy. They might have a moment or two of silliness, but they stay on point and ultimately deliver the goods. Movies of this rating have included FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL, BLINDNESS, and 3:10 TO YUMA.

Two and a Half Stars: "Not bad - Worth a Look". Here's where the tea party starts getting weird. I've been called an apologist by some, and this is my way of saying that a movie might not be the greatest, but it's still better than a lot of other films out there. Movies with this rating are ones I'd say to approach cautiously, as you may find them to be a waste of time/money. In my eyes they are ones that barely succeed...which also usually leads to some asking if I'm nuts to say that these titles are good. Movies of this rating have included APPALOOSA, BODY OF LIES, and THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON.

Two Stars: "Close but No Cigar". Once I get to the rating of two stars and below, I'm really just qualifying badness. These are the movies I'd say to skip, however as I reflect on them I find that they had something to offer in their two hours traffic. Some great photography, a fun set of action scenes, a moment or two of witty dialogue. I might not have liked them, but I can see how someone else might. Movies of this rating have included PRIDE & GLORY, CHOKE, and HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE.

One and a Half Stars: "Bad. Pure and Simple." These are the movies that I only made it through because I hoped they'd eventually get better...but they didn't. The movies that ripped me off for $11.95. Two hour blocks of my life that I am never getting back. Movies that I would flip past if it was 3 a.m. and I couldn't sleep. Pretty clear, wouldn't you say? Movies of this rating have included EAGLE EYE and TWILIGHT.

One Star or Half a Star: "Run away!" I'm lucky in that I'm doing this for fun, thus I get to choose everything I want to see and write about. Likewise, I have friends and family that share my tastes, and thus I'm not forced to see movies against my will too terribly often. However, every once in a while, I find myself watching a train wreck. Something so horribly awful that it goes from bad to good and then back over to bad. These are the lowest of the low...avoid them at all costs. Movies of this rating have so far only included W and STEP BROTHERS.

Rock & Roll Star (IT MIGHT GET LOUD Trailer)

Last September, at the Toronto International Film festival, I got to see this documentary and it was one of the most memorable nights of my life...

The Edge.
Jack White.
Jimmy Page.

Indeed...it might get loud...

Back in Time (The Movie Period Meme)

Seems to be the week of memes for me, which is odd because after many weeks of slight writer's block I finally have quite a bit to write about.

This time up, I'm following the lead of Daniel over at Getafilm who asked that if you could, what cinematic time and place would you love to visit?

For me, 1950's Los Angeles has always had a certain allure - certainly the way it is portrayed in 1997's L.A. CONFIDENTIAL. It's also the setting for the bulk of BACK TO THE FUTURE, THE BLACK DAHLIA, REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, and LA BAMBA. Some of my points are generic to the era, some are L.A. specific. Take a look below and what it is that I dig about the city of angels in the 1950's.



The first thing that I like about the era, is the fact that while the tabloid media was indeed going full tilt, it seems like it was less omnipresent than it is now. The 50's didn't have TMZ, they didn't have Inside Hollywood, they didn't have The Drudge Report. All of the cheap smarm and gossip was contained to the newsstands. The scandal beat was likely going at the same clip it does today, but back then it was easy enough for those of us who don't care to avoid. Also, I have to believe that the characters like Danny Devito's had a slightly higher standard for what made "gossip"...they wanted to know who was sneaking around with who - not what Kim Kardashian had for dinner.


Slightly on the same point, this was the golden age of Hollywood. Maybe it's just my own sense of yesteryear romanticism, but it feels like many of the movies and the stars themselves just looked better. In the film, Kim Bassinger plays a hooker who is dolled up to look like Lana Turner, so it's fair to say that she's a wannabe movie star. Take a look at the photo above - that's what movie stars used to look like. Compare that to your average red carpet shot of Kristen Stewart, or Paris Hilton, or Sienna Miller. It was the age of glamour, where there was an amazingly distinct line between us and them. In many ways I wish we could go back to that.


This was also the age where TV was still in its infancy - not every single home had one, and those that did certainly didn't have two or three. Likewise, when people wanted to watch movies, it would still be quite some time before they could watch them in their own homes. So going out to a movie was still an event...a social outing...those who went to a movie knew how to behave. They wouldn't dream of wasting their time and money on something they were going to talk through, or fuss about with mobile phones (if they had them). In the age of home theatres, people have completely forgotten how to behave in theatres, and something tells me that there's no going back.


I'm a big fan of great bars and diners, and it always feels they had better ones back in the fifties. Take a look at that one Kevin Spacey is sitting in. Dark mahogany bars and tables...jazz or swing on the jukebox...filled with a certain class of boozers and losers. The bartender is always named "Mac", and the place is always smokey. Feels like it'd be a much better place to get a bite or drink away your problems than the dozen or so chain restaurants that surround my neighbourhood.


Ah yes, the cars. Back when North America's love affair with them was going full tilt. Back before they became, as P.J. O'Rourke calls them, "cupholders on wheels". Take a look at that '51 Chevy that Russell Crowe drives. Seems like it'd be a fun ride, don't it? The sort of car you'd pick up your sweetheart in and drive up to inspiration point and make out. It's a great lookin' car, and they all looked like that! Heavy, powerful, metal, and slick. Sure they were gas guzzlers, but this is back before it cost ninety cents a litre anyway! Suddenly I'm saddened by the sight of my 2004 Suzuki. Moving on...


So as some of you may or may not know, I'm a photographer. As such, I long for the sorts of cameras they used back then. They were huge, and by no means were they easy to use...but you got a great photo from them. The negative was about four times as big as a thirty five mil shot, so it could record more info and give you a clearer image. That's why when you look at old photos in magazines and text books, they still look so friggin' good. Don't believe me? Compare 'em to photos taken in the 60's, 70's and 80's when people decided that smaller cameras and smaller types of film were a good idea. Oh, and I've always wanted to be shooting beat photos get to pop out the used flashbulb like you always see in the movies. Seems like fun!


One last thing, and this one oughta be obvious. I like that back in the 50's guys wore hats more often.

That'll do it for me. While I invite anyone to leave comments about what movie time/place they'd love to check out, I think for this one I'll tag the following to post it...

Shannon from Movie Moxie
Alex from Film Forager
Charles from C Diddle's Movie Views
Ivy from Do You Have a Flag?
Farzan from At The Scene

Here's the rules gang, have at it...

1.) Think of a place (real or fictional) and time (past, present, future) portrayed in a movie (or a few) that you would love to visit.
2.) List the setting, period, applicable movie, and year of the applicable movie's release (for reference).
3.) Explain why, however you'd like (bullet points, list, essay form, screenshots, etc.). If this is a time and place that you have intimate knowledge of, feel free to describe what was done well and what wasn't done well in portraying it.
4.) If possible, list and provide links to any related movies, websites, books, and/or articles that relate to your choice (s).
5.) Modify Rules #1-4 to your liking. And come up with a better name for this meme.
6.) Link back to this Getafilm post in your post, please.
7.) Tag at least five others to participate!

Evil Urges

Today, I feel like this...

The Collection Song

Ivy over at Do You Have a Flag? started an somewhat odd, and deeply geeky meme/trend of sorts. The other day, she did a post giving everyone in the blogosphere a gander at her DVD shelves.

Then others joined her. A trend became a following...a following became a movement...

Never one to be left behind while all the cool kids are having fun, I thought I'd kick off the weekend by joining in. If you dare, take a peek below the cut at Hatter's dvd shelves (clicking on any of the photos will make it bigger and give you a closer look). Here's where a wildly inappropriate 421 titles live.

Yeah. I know. I'm a geek.

...I gotta wonder how many more titles I'd have space for if not for those gigantic versions of AMERICAN GANGSTER, BEN-HUR, and CLOSE ENCOUNTERS...

...Three guesses who my favorite baseball team is...

...and inside of the IKEA fortress of solitude?...

...Three more friggin' shelves!!...

...It all kinda gets haphazard down here. One of these days I hope to get some better shelves...

...And then there are the TV series. Nicely crowned by a Superman lunch box!

Misery loves company, so please feel free to send me photos of your monuments to movie geekery!

When You're Gone ( David Carradine 1936 - 2009 )

Actor David Carradine was found dead in a Bangkok hotel this morning.

Carradine starred in KILL BILL vol's 1 AND 2, BOUND FOR GLORY, and television's KUNG FU.

He was 72.

Doubleback: LET THE RIGHT ONE IN

Every once in a while, you're late to the party. So late that the bottles are empty, the food is gone, and people are already reaching for their coats. That's how I feel with LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. It's brilliant - one of the best movies I've seen in a long time actually, and I feel like a right git for not having seen it already. So much so, that I wonder what I can write about it that hasn't already been said.

It's been described as the "Anti-TWILIGHT" (she makes great potato salad by the way...my Auntie Twilight...sorry, I couldn't resist). It's yet another example of what's wrong with the Best Foreign Film category at the Oscars since it wasn't nominated. And its elegantly simple photography makes the whole movie an absolute joy to watch. But again, much of this has been said before.

I'm still in awe of the touching performances by the two young actors who play the leads in the film. Both of them play their parts with a fragility that young North American actors often lack. All the more mind-blowing, it was the feature film debut for both actors. You gotta respect talent like that, likewise for director Tomas Alfredson for guiding them to such brilliance.

An old friend recently asked me if I ever felt like I'd hit a ceiling when it comes to movie-watching. She referred to the point when films start to feel stale, to the point where it feels like everything is a rehash of something you've already seen. She may be on to something, but to her I say rent this movie. It's proof that you can take a film genre that's literally as old as the medium itself, and still tell a tale in a way that feels truly original.

Review: UP * * * 1/2

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

UP is about a man who makes his house fly by way of thousands of helium balloons. However, it's also about taking a moment to realize that even tough life didn't work out the way you'd hoped, you haven't necessarily been left empty handed.

UP is the story of Carl Fredricksen (voiced by Ed Asner). As a child he dreams of being a great explorer, but seems to get nervous just leaving his yard. Enter Ellie - an ambitious tomboy who takes a shining to Carl right away. They grow up, get married and share lofty dreams. Unfortunately, life has other ideas, and their lofty dreams go almost entirely unfulfilled. As Carl plans to finally make a few of those dreams come true, Ellie passes away.

As the years pass, Carl finds himself in a tough spot. The neighbourhood around his house is being built into skyscrapers, and he is being forced to leave the house he and Ellie shared, and moved to a retirement home. However, our man Carl has other ideas - the night before he is scheduled to move to the home, he fills thousands of balloons with helium - enough to lift his house off its foundation and majestically fly through the air.

One small problem - Russell, a Junior Wilderness Explorer, was on his front porch when the house lifted off. Thus, our unlikely Lewis, meets an even more unlikely Clark. To his credit, Russell does a good job of steering the house towards the intended destination - South America. It's here that Carl wants to set the house down at Paradise Falls, and honour his wife's life wish. However, an endangered bird, a talkative dog, and a long lost explorer seem to have other ideas.

UP, like just about every other animated feature lately, can be seen in 3-D. However, it seldom seems to take advantage of the 3-D, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Rather than lean back and allow gimmicks to cover for a boring story, Pixar focuses on what they o best, and simply allow the 3-D to accent the product...not become their entire reasoning for making the film. In short, if you can't get to see the 3-D version where you live, rest easy knowing that you aren't missing much.

Once again, the girls and boys at Pixar have brought the goods for UP, which makes this ten fantastic films in a row. The story starts with classic animated formula - the misfits setting out on a great adventure.

However, the plot becomes so much sweeter, and often much more touching, by infusing it with the nature of relationships...both father/son and husband/wife. Of these, it was the second of the two that really drove the film for me.

It doesn't take UP very long to show you how bittersweet a story it will be. Matter of fact, I was quite shaken by the sad places this movie takes its audience to in the early going. I was very moved by the story of a man who feels like he let his wife down. He carries the burden of never making her dreams come true so heavily, but what he can't see is that it wasn't for lack of trying. Life just...had other ideas...as life sometimes does.

When we lose those closest to us, there is a heavy temptation to cash in our chips and fold. What UP wants to teach us, is that the best thing to do in this situation is to honour the ones we loved so dearly. Like Carl and his thousands of balloons, we should look to the horizon, and live our lives to the fullest. It's only then that we honour them, and wear their memory like a merit badge on our lapel.

You and The Candles

It's my birthday today.

I have a little tradition, first suggested by a friend of a friend, and that is to make a list of things I'd like to do in the next year. Once the list is done, I seal it inside an envelope and refrain from looking at it until the next year. The idea is to see what you happened to serendipitously accomplish.

Some years are better than others, but I've really started to take a shining to it. So much so that I thought I'd even extend it a little bit. This year, I'll be posting a list of 21 movies I've never seen before, and on my next birthday, I'll come back to this post and see how many I managed to watch.

In case you're curious, the list is behind the jump. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm off to eat some cake.

HARVEY
FIVE EASY PIECES
LOCK, STOCK, AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS
MANHATTAN*
LA DOLCE VITA
BOTTLE ROCKET
HAROLD AND MAUDE
STRIPES*
THE RED SHOES*
THE GOLD RUSH
A NIGHT AT THE OPERA
RAISING ARIZONA*
THE AFRICAN QUEEN
ERASERHEAD
PRIDE OF THE YANKEES
RASHOMON*
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
SMOKE
WOMAN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN*
GROUNDHOG DAY*
NETWORK